HP and The Philosopher's Diary
by MySoulIsOnThePages
Summary: Harry Potter's swagilicious diary during book one.Rated T for inappropriate language. Warning: Might be to awesome for you to handle.
1. The Vanishing Ass

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>June 23, 1991<p>

Dear Diary,

Dudder's birthday today. Got 37 presents, including cine-camera. Bet he's going to plant it in the bathroom to watch me undress. The creeper. Totally in love with me. Caught him peeking between the stairs into my cupboard. Akward because I was masturbating.

Got to go to the zoo. Saw gorilla. Looked like Dudley. Saw an elephant. Reminded me of Uncle Vernon, that fat arse. Aunt Petunia was very interested in our waiter. Caught her looking at her arse. It's obvious to everyone but Vernon that she's a lesbian. That's why she always spies on our neighbours.

Had a dream on flying motorbike. Reminded myself not to accept weed from Mrs. Figg ever again. I must have had too much because I talked to a snake. Said he wanted to go to Brazil. Don't know why unless he wanted to get into the prostitution business. Might be popular since he could crawl into girls' Vagina Cabinets. Girls would like that. He also has a long tongue. Might be useful.

Dudley and his boyfriend Piers broke the glass and fell in. Must be because they're giant dicks. Then it reappeared. Must be Satan. Got blamed for it. No meals for forever. Looks like it's time to kill these spiders.

They're very good if you fry em a bit.

Sincerely, Harry Potter the Spider Eater.

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New story, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Love y'all like I love fat kids. Not enough to tell someone. Cheers! <em>

_FiercePhoenix_


	2. Letters From Someone Obviously

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>June 24, 1991<p>

Still in cupboard. Getting quite bored, as I accidentally ate all the spiders.

June 26

Running out of bottles to pee in. Don't ask about what I'm doing with the other stuff.

June 30

School ended. Yes, I missed the last two weeks. Yes, I failed. Yes, I'm still going to Stonewall High.

July 15

Success! Finally gave that shit Dudley a piece of my mind. Then I ran like HELL. Quite funny actually. He's so stupid he could never figure out what I said. Gotta love that masturbating, gay, fat creeper. Always bunches of fun.

July 23

Went to stay at Mrs. Figg's for the day. Her house always smells of cat piss and weed. Quite a nice smell once you get used to it. Dudley broke her leg by running her over, so she had tons of medical marijuana! We also ate newborn kittens. Jk! I like the old, fat ones. Good with steak sauce. Also chocolate cake. Not with steak sauce. That's not what I meant.

This evening, Dudley paraded around in his Smelting's uniform. Vernon said he looked just like him at his age. I hope to God that Dudley doesn't end up that ugly. Shame to the entire country.

Later...

Went for a glass of water in the middle of the night. Petunia was walking around in just a nightie. Is it wrong that I wanted to tap that?

July 24

Went into the kitchen this morning to find Petunia dying bits of clothing for my school uniform. She thinks I'd look ugly. But that bitch don't know that I make everything look good.

Odd thing happened, got a letter this morning. LOL. It was another one for a penis enlargement. No need to make this thing any bigger.

But I got yet another letter! Vernon stole it from me, and read it. Got all crazy and offered me the second bedroom. Fuck yea!

July 25

Got another letter, identical to the first! Stole that one too, the old wench.

July 26

Got up early and stepped on Vernon's face. Lulz. Best day ever!

July 27

Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday! Lookin forward to the weekend.

Think Vernon's gone crazy. Started singing Tip Toe Through the Tulips. Smashing song, but really?

July 28

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! Still getting letters.

July 29

No song for Sunday. No post on Sundays!

Wrong! Got like a bajillion letters.

Now Vernon's decided to leave, bringing us around the country to shake em off. Staying at shitty hotel. I think I have lice.

July 30

Yes it's true. Tomorrow is my birthday. In approximentaly three hours, I will be eleven. Fuck yea.

July 30/31

HOLY SHIT. Too much to write down, but I'm a wizard! Some paedophile with a beard told me! Awesome!

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Love y'all like I love fat kids. Not enough to tell someone. Cheers! <em>

_FiercePhoenix_


	3. Keeper of Knees

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>Still July 31, 1991- Morning<p>

Got woken up in the middle of a dream about me plowing Mick Jagger. It was an owl. I was like "Bitch, GTFO." It did not take that kindly and attacked me like the chickens in Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Then Hagrid ate him.

Off to Diagon Alley!

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><p>Later...<p>

In a bank full of midgets! Awesome!

Turns out I'm rich. And not just rich but MEGA rich. Suck it Dudley, you fat bugger!

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><p>Even Later...<p>

Met a mighty fine young chap at the dress shop. He totally checked out my bum. Don't blame him. It's a nice bum. ;-)

The chick making my robes was hot. Told her to make lots of room for my giant penis. Let's just say she couldn't control herself.

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><p>Even Even Later...<p>

Got a wand. No, no that kind of wand. Let's just say that my wand is the same length as my other wand. Ladies are lining up already.

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><p>Even Even Even Later...<p>

Just got back to the Dursley's. Bitches better be scared because HP is on the scene. Every time I move they flinch. I control these bitches. Fuck yea.

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Love y'all like I love fat kids. Not enough to tell someone. Cheers! <em>

_FiercePhoenix_


	4. Platform Sixty Nine

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>August 1, 1991<p>

Only a month left with the Dursley's. Wondering how much mayhem I can cause by the time I go to Hogwarts.

August 5

Lol! My owl keeps shitting everywhere. Put it in Dudder's shampoo. Still has his pig tail.

August 10

Getting quite bored; actually started reading my books. What the eff is wrong with me? I'm losing my edge.

August 18

Got my edge back. Sent a fake love letter to Petunia from Mrs. Next Door. Put a copy here:

_My Dearest Petunia,_

_This has been love overdue. I've seen you watching my through your windows, and over your fence. I want you to know, I feel the same way. _

_Sometimes, I walk around top-less just for you. I know you like it._

_But, I have a secret. I am actually a man. My penis gets hard whenever I think about you._

_I love you,_

_Mrs. Next Door_

August 20

LOL! Petunia sent a letter back. Unfortunately, didn't get to read it. All I know is that she now has a restraining order! Blackmailed her into giving meals to me in exchange for me not telling Vernon. Best deal I ever made. I ate three steaks and a pound of mashed potatoes. Go Harry!

September 1

Just on the train next to a pile of candy and a ginger kid. Asked if he had a soul. Bit me. Have rabies now probably. Met an ugly chick with a big rack named...Her...Herman? i think. Whatever I was too busy staring at her rack.

Later...

Hogwarts is awesome. Probably wasn't untill I got here. Got sorted into the best house, GRYFFINDOR! Fuck yea.

Everything is totally awesome.

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Love y'all like I love fat kids. Not enough to tell someone. Cheers! <em>

_FiercePhoenix_


	5. The Potions Masterbation

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>September 2, 1991<p>

Everyone's talking about me. Like, I know I'm beautiful, but get over it.

Peeves the poltergeist is great. I showed him how to use water balloons. What fun.

Classes are boring as shit. All we do is make needles into matchsticks. When do we get to learn useful spells, like how to get a girl's pants off?

Septermber 3

There's a lot of stairs here. Good thing for the fat kids, they need exercise. Pushed Neville down a flight of stairs. Broke both of his legs, but he's fine. It's not like he's gonna be able to kick my ass some day.

September 4

Had astronomy lesson at midnight. I was supposed to be looking at the moon, but decided to look at Prof Sinastra's lady parts. Yumm.

September 5

Had another Transfiguration class. Man that teacher's a hard ass. Bet you she never did it up the butt.

September 6

Had a heartless bastard for a Potions teacher. Like seriously, what a dick.

Made a Your Mom joke to him. He countered back with "I've slept with your mother."

Don't know if he was joking or not. If not, gross. I know my mom was MILF, but seriously.

September 7

Saw Hagrid. Ginger kid came with me. I wonder how big Hagrid's penis is?

Later..

Sent Ron to Hagrid's hut to see. He is now vomiting all over my shoes. Bitch GTFO.

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	6. The Midnight POOP

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>September 8 1991<p>

Do you know who's a douche? Malfoy. Like, shit, man get a life.

Flying lessons will begin on Thursday. I know I'll be awesome. Even better than that Malfoy kid.

September 9

Got caught pushing Neville into a suit of armour. Detention this evening!

It was legendary.

September 10

Overheard Filch talking dirty to the librarian. She's not even that hot.

September 11

Herman or whatever will not shut her lopsided ugly mouth. It's like Charlie Brown; all I hear is wahwahwah. I made her make me a sandwich. She wouldn't do it and started spouting off feminist rants and shit. Asked Dean to do it.

Note to Self: Don't make a black guy do anything. He will take a gun out on you.

September 12

Had first flying lesson today. No surprise, I was the best in the class.

Shlongbottom was a baby and broke his wrist. What a pussy.

Kicked the shit out of Malfoy, and made the Quidditch team. Like a Boss.

September 12

That little shit Malfoy challenged me to a duel. I'll show him.

Later...

Ginger and I went to meet him, but Malfoy never showed up. What a pussy. Neville and Herman came along and almost caused us to get shit from Filch. Ran into a room with a giant three headed dog.

One day, I will be its' master...

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	7. Hallows Weave

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>September 13, 1991<p>

Herman is no longer speaking to us. Good. Women should be seen and not heard. And in the kitchen. Making me a goddamn sandwich.

September 14

Why do you think it's called a sandwich? It has no sand, nor does it have witch. Maybe it's because witches are supposed to be making them. That sounds about right.

September 15

God, school is so boring. You'd think with me around it be all fun, but NO. We have to do work. Stupid Herman. All her fault.

September 16

Got my eyes on a pretty young thang. Lavender Brown. First one to hit puberty. Now has huuuge honkers. Like hubba hubba. Me likey.

September 17

Learned that Ron has a younger sister. Got mad when I asked if he hit that.

September 18

I bet you McGonagall and Mrs. Norris do it as cats. That be gross.

September 19

Apparently Herman's birthday today. YUCK.

September 20

Got my broom today and had my first Quidditch practice. Alone. With Wood. What a little bugger ;)

Quidditch = Awesomest game EVER. I'm like a speedy gonzalas. Gonzalos? How do you spell that?

September 25

More Quidditch. The girls on the team are HAWT. Like man. Wanna tap it.

October 1, 1991

OCTOBERRRR. Been here a month already. Time flies when you're having fun.

October 6

Harry is in love with Snape!

Later

Ron wrote that. I swear...

October 13

Turned Ron's hands into candy. Take that you bastard!

October 31

Hallowe'en.

Charms class. Finally learned a useful spell. Herman's such a hipster. It's LeviOsa not LeviosA. Bitch shut the fuck up.

Later

Troll was in the dungeon. Me and Ron saved Herman. Now she's all grateful. I wonder if she'll put out now?

Even Later:

She informed me that no, she won't put out and her name is Hermione. Blah Blah Blah.

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	8. Can't think of anything funny: Quidditch

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>November 1, 1991<p>

Goddamn it's cold out. Have to keep warm by masturbating.

November 3

I guess Hermione isn't all bad. She loaned me a library book. As if I'm going to actually read. Reading is for pussies. And nerds. And girls.

November 4

Quidditch practice is the tits.

November 5

I wonder what's up Snape's ass. Probably Filch! HAHahAH. Gross.

November 8

That shit Snape took my library book! It's okay though because, I saw Filch giving him head. BLACKMAIL!

November 9

First Quidditch match. I shall give you the highlights:

Someone cursed my broom. And no, I don't mean someone gave me herpes. My actual broom. It was...Snape! Luckily, Hermione stopped him.

I caught the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!

Like a Boss. Fuck yea.

Hagrid let slip that Dubledore's shagging someone called Nicholas Flamel. Will keep you posted.

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	9. Mirror of Desire Backwards

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>November 12, 1991<p>

Some people are as dumb as shit.

November 20

Seamus, Dean, and Neville are a lovely bunch. Even if I hit Dean too hard with a pillow, and he threatened to shoot me. What lovely friends.

November 28

I have nothing to write about.

December 5

Do you think I can get Parvati and Padma Patil to do a sister tag team? Wink Wink.

Later...

Apparently not.

December 9

McGonagall took down names to see who was staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. Draco made fun of me.

I countered with, "At least I know my parents love me."

Wound up with a black eye but hey, good comeback.

December 15

I bet Quirrell is used to getting balls to his head, cause he's a DICK HEAD.

December 21

Hagrid made a big deal of us watching him set up the Christmas trees. I was just trying to figure out what spell to use to take his pants off to show Hermione.

No news on Nicholas Female.

Later...

LULZ just noticed my spelling mistake!

December 25

It's Christmas time bitches. The time of year where girls have to much to drink and take their clothes off. Praying it's not McGonagall.

Got a 50 pence piece from aunt and uncle. Sent it back with " That's how much you're worth Vernon. Save it up to buy a real woman." Also sent a catalog full of blow up dolls.

Good news! Got an invisibility cloak! Used it to get in the girls shower rooms. Man, Angelina Johnson has big honkers.

Later...

Holy shit. Just saw Mum and Dad in a mirror. I swear I only had one bottle of Firewhiskey!

December 26

Ron and I went to the mirror again. He saw himself. I think there's more in those brownies than chocolate...

December 27

Encountered Dumbledore at the mirror. He talked some shit about it, but I wasn't paying attention, cause I could see his desire in the mirror. It was a naked Snape.

GROSS!

Later...

I think I have a bigger penis than Snape.

* * *

><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Shout out to Dark Onyx for his awesome review! Thanks!_

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	10. NickelAss Female

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>January 1, 1992<p>

Hermione whines a lot. Her name should be Herwhiney. Herwhiney, Runt, and The HERO.

Awesome super hero names.

January 13

Do you know what the Wizard World needs? Prostitutes.

January 27

Nothing really going on. No one's paying attention to The HERO.

February 14

Got at least 84 Valentines, and only 29 were from men!

February 16

Learnt Snape is refereeing the Quidditch match against Jigglypuff or whatever. SUCKS.

February 19

HAHA like Neville needs his legs stuck together. He'll probably be a virgin forever. He's never going to be as hot as me.

Found out who Nicolas Flamel is. Photographer? Palaeontologist? Something like that. Hermy knows.

February 22

I think Malfoy is a Nazi. He practically called me a Jew. Not cool, man, not cool.

Gryffindor won the match. Go Harry!

Later...

Saw Quirrell being assaulted by Snape today. Didn't do anything. He probably deserved it.

* * *

><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Okay, this chapter was not my greatest, because you can't really parody quidditch so sorry!_

_Also, I am on twitter now, so follow me at fiercephoenix7. If you tell me you read this, I'll follow you back :-) _

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	11. The DRAGON

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

* * *

><p>March 1<p>

Ron's birthday. Gave him a used tissue. Told him he could sell it on wiz-bay. He was delighted.

April 24

Hagrid hatched a dragon. Named it Norbert. Sounds like a dork's name.

Malfoy was being a peeping tom and saw it. I knew he was looking at me ;)

May 7

Ron's hand looks like it has a blue waffle.

May 9

Charlie's friends were quite dishy. I'd eat them up. Told the one he could owl me anytime.

My 10

McGonads took 150 points from us that bitch!

* * *

><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_Okay, this chapter was not my greatest, because that chapter is really boring._

_Also, I am on twitter now, so follow me at fiercephoenix7. If you tell me you read this, I'll follow you back :-) _

_Cheers darlings!_

_FiercePhoenix_


	12. The Forbidden Forest AKA Hermon's Vag

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

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><p>May 13, 1991<p>

Everybody's freakin out about us losing 150 points, even the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Bitch, settle down.

May 16

No one wants to hop on the snake downstairs anymore. I offered Alicia to do her for free, but she refused. I was like Bitch, you ugly anyways.

May 19

I think Herman is depressed. Overheard her asking Snape if she can drink his "potion." I think we all know what that means.

May 23

I can hear Neville sobbing into his pillows. Some part of me wonders if its my fault...

Later

It's not. I'm fucking fabulous.

May 25

Head Quirrell being threatened today. I bet a gazillion donuts that it was Snape. Maybe I should get him a rape whistle.

May 26

Fucking detention tonight.

Later

Have to go in the Forest with Hagrid for detention. It's very dark. Maybe I should get a rape whistle.

Even Later

Met a centaur. I swear he was on acid. Also might have peeked at the downtown area... Let's just say that thing is bigger than my arm.

Even even Later

Saw someone drinking unicorn blood. Malfoy crapped his pants and took off. Don't worry I battled the monster with my own two hands. Then a very fabulous looking centaur picked me up, and told me that was Voldemort.

We're all fucked.

Laterrrrr

Got my cloak back. Fuckin rights, bro.

* * *

><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_I know that was really bad, but I'm trying to get my groove back. I have to get back into the mindset of an immature boy. Bare with me, please._

_I'm on tumblr now (mysoulisonthepages) so check me out there._

_Thanks for reading, and please review!_

_Cheers Darlings,_

_The Fierce Phoenix_


	13. Through The Crap Door

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

* * *

><p>June 1, 1992<p>

Exams suck ass.

Keep having nightmares about my penis being ripped off by a hooded figure.

June 2

I thought I saw Voldemort looking through the window in the Great Hall, so I freaked out. Realized it was just a tree. Tried to play it off like I was just break dancing.

Later...

I think they bought it.

Even Later

They didn't buy it.

June 3

Hermone won't stop talking. Is there a spell that can make her shut the fuck up?

June 4

Yippee! Done exams! Totally bombed History of Magic... But YOLO.

Later...

Hagrid is a terrible security guard. Give him a galleon, and he'll tell you all his goddamn secrets. He needs AA.

Later

McGonagall you bitch, I'm tryna save the world.

LaTeR

Fuckin Snape threatened to expel me. I'll expel HIS ASS.

That came out wrong

Later...

Off adventuring!

Later...

Jesus, Neville just fucks everything up. ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU NEVILLE. NOBODY EVEN LIKES YOU.

More Later...

If a ghost could shit...LMAO

More Later...

Q: Who snores more, Ron or Fluffy? A: Ron.

Q: Who's breath stinks more, Ron or Fluffy? A: Ron.

Q: Who's the number 1 bad-ass? A: Harry Freaking Potter

Later...

Did I just enter a hentai porno?

laterrrr

I got some wood right here, Hermione...

Laters

Aw yeah I'm a boss.

Even Later

We're majorly fucked.

Later

I think Ron just died.

I guess you really do OLO.

Later

This potion tastes like Canada's winter.

The Laterest...

Oh shi-

* * *

><p><em>Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.<em>

_I'm on tumblr now (mysoulisonthepages) so check me out there._

_Thanks for reading, and please review!_

_Cheers Darlings,_

_The Fierce Phoenix_


	14. The Man with Two You-Know-Whats

_Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission._

* * *

><p>June 8, 1992<p>

Woke up in hospital. Tried to tell Dumbledore that Quirrell and Voldemort were my OTP.

He's like, "Chill out. Next you're gonna tell me that you want them to do a duet."

But I do.

I have whole bunch of candy from all my bitches. They miss their daddy.

Daddy's home. Daddy's home, now.

Also, the fuckin Weasley twins sent me a fuckin toilet seat. That's nasty, bro.

Dumbledore told me that Snape was trying to save me. Then he fucking ate all my candy!

But I got him in the end. I made him eat my earwax. BOW DOWN BITCHES.

Later...

I think Hermione is going to give me pity sex now. Or at least let me touch her boobs.

Madam Pomfrey made Ron and Hermione leave so we could get it on.

June 9

Hagrid tried to drown me in tears. Then gave me a photo album. I'm getting mixed signals.

Later...

God, I'm going to miss Hogwarts food. All you can eat, while at the Dursley's, I'll be lucky to get some bread.

Muggles suck.

Later

GRYFFINDOR WINS THE HOUSE CUP! SUCK MY DICK MALFOY. FUCK YEAH!

June 11

Passed all my subjects. Who's the stupid one Hermione?!

_Still you._

Fuck off Hermione. Get your own diary.

June 20

This might be a little sappy, but I'm going to miss everyone. Even Shlongbottom.

But most of all, I'm going to miss my fame.

And using my cloak to watch Angelina Johnson shower.

Until next time...

Live long and Prosper,

Harry Awesome Potter

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><p><em>Authouress' Note: Last chapppy, Potterheads. Thanks for all your kindness.<em>

**_Important note: Let me know if you want me to continue this into CoS. I'm having my doubts._**

_Thanks for reading, and please review!_

_Cheers Darlings,_

_The Fierce Phoenix_


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